funny national anthem

Shit, their revolution even had an official Reign of Terror in which anyone displaying counter-revolutionary tendencies found themselves relieved of their head. Whatever. Whichever you prefer, somebody's getting fucked up.

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Their landscape still looks like a bunch of dick mountains. And guess what? Vietnam's national anthem kicks more ass in two short verses than most countries do in a lifetime. But hey, you say a tainted blood irrigates your furrow, we say their impure blood should water our fields.

Listening to the first few verses, you would think Mameli thought independence was a lost cause.

David quite likes the Japanese anthem – languid, contemplative and somewhat like an epic film score. 4 hours ago. Hell, they basically lost the third. He certainly doesn’t. It’s an anthem with real bite. A surprise entry at No. I’ve even got it on my mobile phone.”. 7 pieces of classical music inspired by the moon 7 hours ago. "Our flag, red with the blood of victory, bears the spirit of the country.

", "For too long have we swallowed our hatred. The lyrics focus mainly on how unbelievably awesome it would be to die for your country. Frederic Chopin, 6 June 2018, 15:53 | Updated: 6 June 2018, 16:30. Watch Queue Queue Burning heart= cooler imagery than star spangled banner. Booty booty booty booty bursting everywhere! Hungary.

", "The distant rumbling of the guns mingles with our marching song.

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Depending on where you're reading it, the translation of the lyrics varies.

It’s a really good one.”, That would be the National Anthem of the Czech Republic, of which David says: “Prague is associated with music, not stuff like this.”, Promoted by

Phyllis Should Have Been 'The Office' Manager, 5 Real Survival Adventures That Deserve Their Own Movies. So we thought we'd take a closer look at the national anthem, that creepy ritual of bland patriotism. But convince them they did...by force. Watch Queue Queue. For one shining moment in the 1790s, instead of finding themselves on the business end of a bloody revolution, France was giving the business during the French Revolution. But Goffredo Mameli, the 20 year old poet who wrote the lyrics, clearly understood that one can only be down for so long.

Most of the other anthems on this list mix in a little bit of talk about peace, national pride or whatever else. Before the beheading. 8pm - 10pm, Scherzo No.3 in C-sharp minor Opus 39 When not writing for Cracked, Adam makes his fellow countrymen proud at ScenicAnemia.com. They mean it! But thanks to a convenient alliance with Prussia, Italy eventually gained their independence. Wait ... Is Ron Howard George Michael's Grandfather In 'Arrested Development'? Cracked is published by Literally media Ltd.. Basically, Independence March was the Super Bowl Shuffle of its day. Like most good national anthems, this one was written in the shadow of a looming war for independence, this time with Austria. Copyright © 2005-2020. ", "Render your chest as armor and your body as trench! That's right, this anthem is written as a direct address to God. Italy lost the first war for independence from Austria.

In fact, some countries aren't satisfied until their national anthem makes any child within earshot weep in terror. Um, our memory is a little hazy, but yes, we believe at some point they may have. Being held down by the man? We asked our music reviewer David Mellor to rank each piece and tell us his verdict. The blood and guts talk just finds its way into a verse or two at random. Yeah, they probably did. Copyright ©2005-2020.

Beginning with guerrilla attacks by the National Liberation Front (FLN) against military and civilian targets in November of 1954, Algeria launched a bloody war for independence from France that would last almost eight years. We don't know much about geography. But how does David rate it? Destructive lightning? Check.

The Austrian eagle has already lost its plumes. It was originally called "Chant de guerre de l'armee du Rhin" ("War Song of the Army of the Rhine") but the name was later changed due to the song's popularity with volunteers on the streets of Marseilles. Here’s David’s verdict: “I’ve loved this tune since I used to hear it at gold medal ceremonies for the Olympics. "No freedom's flowers return, from the spilt blood of the dead, and the tears of slavery burn, which the eyes of orphans shed.". Vietnam's anthem, on the other hand, is all war, all the time. ", As fascinating as the thought is, there was a time when France didn't sashay around the globe getting stomped in every armed conflict that came their way. But whatever was up their ass, it apparently required divine intervention. You're almost done. Though it pre-dates both heavy metal and rap by several decades, the Algerian national anthem's lyrics expertly incorporate the prominent cornerstones of both genres' most violent moments. Another anthem, another fight for independence.

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Go figure. ", "Do you hear in the countryside, the roar of these savage soldiers, they come right into our arms, to cut the throats of your sons! This video is unavailable. David gives a big thumbs up to this “really good tune”, which was used by Sir Edward Elgar in his piece Polonia, in a tribute to Poland during the First World War. There was no war for independence on the horizon.

"La Marseillaise" was written in April of 1792 by Claude-Joseph Rouget de Lisle in the midst of the French Revolution. “This is a top 10 one, for me.”. Machine guns? ", "May a tainted blood irrigate our furrows! But it burned its heart.". Anyone who didn't see trouble coming when we went to war with Vietnam had clearly never taken a gander at their national anthem. This stunning video of a Harlem ballet company dancing to Bach will give you goosebumps. Which country has the finest national anthem? At the time of the writing, Zakaria was being held captive in Algiers by French colonial forces. This half-assed eeking out of national independence was brought to you by the people responsible for the fucking Mafia. To-mae-to, to-mah-to. Word up, son. On an unrelated note, can you imagine what state our collective national anthems would be in if written by the 20-year olds of today? We all know that the American national anthem tells the inspiring story of a brave flag that survives a scary night by believing in itself. Himnusz is having no part of that. In David’s view, Switzerland is playing with the big boys. Unlike most of the other anthems on this list, Hungary's really has no cause to be as violent as it is.

That would be the National Anthem of the Czech Republic, of which David says: “Prague is associated with music, not stuff like this.” Yeesh. ", "The path to glory is built by the bodies of our foes.

Cue the tears and the flurry of gold medals. A national anthem penned by Haydn was always going to be a strong contender – the musical equivalent of a German set-piece outside of the penalty box. Bases are being built! “Definitely the best of the South American anthems, Uruguay’s National Anthem sounds like it could have been written by Rossini,” says David. Throughout the majority of the Italian national anthem, things sound pretty bleak. Here are six that take pride in their land to a whole new and insanely violent level. “Plenty of attitude here, and a decent tune fighting to get out,” says David. There is no evidence that Hungary ever kicked any serious ass, but you don't write lyrics about burning orphan tears without having put up with some serious shit. “It’s moody, and if not magnificent, still pretty good and full of atmosphere.”, All stand. The lyrics, written in 1956 by Moufdi Zakaria, are about two "hos" shy of being a Lil' Wayne single. "The bloody flag is raised, the bloody flag is raised. Hell, the main line in the chorus is "we are ready to die!" Gratuitous bloodshed? Hands on hearts. If they had, they would have seen that this is a country that does not take war lightly.

For more valid reasons to never travel to foreign lands, check out 7 Innocent Gestures That Can Get You Killed Overseas. That's a lot of power to deal with. Sort of. The Classic FM Concert with John Suchet Throughout the majority of the Italian national anthem, things sound pretty bleak. Damn right they did. Check.

But not all national anthems steal their plots from children's books. And, for all intents and purposes, they lost the second war with Austria also.

"I'm like the roaring flood; powerful and independent, I'll tear apart mountains, exceed the heavens and still gush out! Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username.

Top 10 American National Anthem Performance Fails - YouTube It sticks in your head – just as an anthem should.”, “Joseph Haydn certainly knew how to write a great tune. It's basically the national anthem equivalent of what an unemployed, alcoholic friend might call and moan to you at 2:30 in the morning.

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